Feedback on Original Script

I received feedback from a tutor about my script. He enjoyed the script, labelling it ambitious and had the following critiques.

• There isn't a plot
• I have to decide whether the film will be based on a narrative or purely iconographic
• Action needs reiteration, repetitive/monotonous action to make the location feel surreal 

He suggested i watch the film Catch 22.

Based on this i intend to redraft the script this weekend to refine the overall piece and receive further critique. I'd like the have the script roughly finished by 3rd of May as i'm intending to film around the 15th May. This should give the actors enough time to learn the script thoroughly. Speaking of which, i contacted 2 actors for the main character role and one for the supporting role today. All 3 are from Belvoir Players Drama Group. Hopefully they will get in touch over the weekend. If they don't i should be okay, i know 2 actors who would play the role. However i recently attended Film Devour and met several actors there, i like the idea of directing actors who i haven't worked with before - build up contacts. 

Surrealist Theory

I researched Surrealist theory in depth when originally writing the script. This is how i interpreted what i learnt.

Surrealism is split into two groups - Automatism and Illusionistic. Automatism is without conscious censorship, eg dreams. Illusionistic is composed of bizarre juxtapositions and layered semiotics. This makes normal objects and action appear abnormal. Common, unthreatening items become dangerous and threatening.

The main force behind Surrealism was Andre Breton, in the 1920s he described Surrealism as 'pure, psychic automatism'. In order to create an engaging film i took the illusionistic approach.

I have reservations over the audiences interpretation of my final film however as long as they are engaged with the piece i will consider it a success. In order to increase the likelihood of this i'm going to choose feminism as my main theme and build around the semiotics already in place in the script.

Props

I have started collecting and making props. A friend from my class has started making my portal. Surrealist Art generally references windows, doors as portals. I have taken this idea and decided to use a mirror as my portal. In regards to shooting this i have taken into consideration the reflective nature of mirrors and decided to perform screen tests on Thursday 26th April with another friend who intends to do the special effects for my film.

This is how portals/wormholes are depicted in Donnie Darko. This isn't what i'm going for but the way the portal moves is an effect i how to utilise.

Portals

I originally wanted to write a short film based around alternate worlds/realities. I started researching portals by watching films such as Being John Malkovich and Donnie Darko. Both of these films use the idea of portals to express different areas that were previously unreachable. In BJM the main character travels through a portal into the mind of John Malkovich. I want to emulate this sense of surrealism/absurdity.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120601/ 
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0246578/

This is what happens when John Malkovich discovers the portal and travels into himself. Charlie Kaufman is probably my favourite screenwriter and will factor into my redraft heavily. I also intend to reread Surrealist Art theory.

Beginning

Working on the theme of a 'transforming moment' i've decided to redraft a script originally intended as my Final Year Project. The script was originally conceived as a critique of contemporary social behaviour. I've already redrafted the script twice as the themes were originally too vague, however i now think the issue is that there are too many themes. Therefore im going to redraft the script again, focusing on one theme.